so whats next?

going for interview at ST satcom tomorrow, seems like its my destiny to go back (not really go back but back as in the same industry) to my previous job, love & hate. but i think destiny is coming, i hope so finally its done. at that point of time, when i get this for you, i had no idea that you would want to leave me. all i had in mind is i wanted the best for you. diamonds are women best friend, they say. i thought it would be nice if i could get you something that would be a symbol of my love and made you think of me when you wear that. it seems that i will never get to see the day you wear the necklace, given the fact that you left leave me for the better.  it doesn't hurt me actually, when you said you are allergy to jewelleries. i already accepted that you were my ex gf and its okay to embrace your flaws. i loved you for who you are, your stubbornness, your rage and bad behaviour, even your dark side which you once confided me into.  what hurt me the m...

so i went for the mindef interview today. to sum up everything, i think i did 5/10. i think they will reject me, as there are 2 more other interviewees before me and they did pretty well from the looks on how long their interview went.  there is another interview for me tomorrow. i heard its gonna be something like insurance agent. fuck BIG SPOILER ALERT for infinity war ! close now if you don't want to spoil yourselves so i watch infinity wars today, and i must say they did a good job in mindfucking all of us from the trailers and internet fan theories hahaha. the only part that i didn't like was how they introduced the soul stone. it was quite abrupt, much like how it was done in justice league. no context, just boom, lets snatch that soul stone from that place haha. gamora plays a key role in revealing the soul stone and yes she dies after being sacrificed by thanos to retrieve the soulstone. the movie did good in the introduction of the whereabouts of the a...

just attended faris wedding. first time attending a malay wedding, pretty cool on how different it is from chinese wedding. i really love the food and the hospitality of the people there. makes me feel like part of their family. anyway congrats on your marriage bro, wish you have a healthy kid and an everlasting marriage. so i will need to confirm with the marina barrage docent job. but the thing is I'm torn again. as i have another interview with mindef this wednesday. and i really wanted that mindef job. i applied for it in february and now they have called me in for an interview this Wednesday. its 2 months since i heard from them. but i heard it very tedious and stringent on their selection thus the reason why the 2 months wait. so I'm here again, torn between 2 choices, give up the docent job or pray hard that mindef will hire me (I'm confident they will because the position is a diploma requirement but i have a degree, and I'm an ex regular). but i think i ...

If she didn't love him, she wouldn't have left

bugged with so many things till i can't make a decision i really wished someone with higher power could tell me what is right for me really feel like giving up and die but i know i cannot leave this world too soon yet im so lost can anyone help me current status is i have 2 potential jobs 1. docent at marina barrage. low pay which don't justify for my qualification but i kinda like that job. i can see this opportunity to work as a curator, or in a museum, perhaps even a reporter. i always want to be a reporter but i don't have good speaking skill. i hope this job can help me improve on that. 2. engineer at ST. i see this as a last choice i had to make, and recently contacted my friend to arrange for an interview as i see myself going nowhere and desperate. good pay, much much better than the previous job, but its back to the same job i used to do in airforce. basically i don't need to don the military uniform but wear the engineer overall. I'm hesit...

i don't know why but I'm having dreams of her this few days...it just keeps coming back to me. very vague fuzzy dreams, i couldn't remember the details, but i know she was in it. what does it mean? it been 3 months already.

so we are back again, or some might call it a fresh start. it is almost the 1st quarter of 2018 and my life hasn't been pretty to me, much failure in both job and relationships. its pretty shitty i got to say and i myself aint doing so well this few months. i have been thinking, what if i did this, what if i didn't did this, what if all this time this wasn't meant for me, what is the meaning of life, what is my purpose. obviously i have been thinking about my life, what i want to do about it. and i get pretty suicidal about it. I'm going 28 and here i am, not knowing my purpose in life. what the hell i have been smoking. don't worry i don't smoke. this question has been bugging me for months, and every night i ask myself "how you doing?"  most of the time is "struggling" so many interviews i went for, they keep asking "what is your passion?" they see me very differently, i can tell it from the looks they gave me, and they ar...